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Americans Float To Canada Illegally, The Party Must Go On

Canadians Are So Understanding Of Their American Neighbors

There is a fine line between neighbors, typically a fence, hedge, or even that annoying orange line painted by the city months ago. Whatever the boundary, we are quick to ensure that we abide by that invisible line in the sand. All of this seems reasonable unless the line in the sand is a 40-mile long river called the Saint Clair River. And I would be remiss if I did not mention that neighbor has around 1,500 relatives armed to the teeth with beer, floating tubes, radios, and other party compliments.

Americans Float To Canada

A few thousand party-goers started participated in the annual “Float Down” which starts at Lighthouse Beach in Port Huron, Michigan and ends at Michigan’s Chrysler Beach. The trek stretches 8 miles from start to finish, but strong winds sent the party sailing across the river into Ontario. Call this party the ultimate floating remix because they all had a change of plans ending up in Sarnia, Canada.

As expected, no patrons of the floating party carried any identification or a passport making them illegal once they crossed into Canadian waters. It’s the largest exodus of Americans to Canada since Vietnam. I completely made that up. Google it!

Canada To The Rescue

The Sarnia Police, Royal Canadian Mounted Police, paramedics and Coast Guard came to the rescue. They were able to pull everyone from the river and get them safely back to American soil.


Despite the complete lack of credentials, ignorance of maritime law, alcohol and a lot of partying, it was the kindest eviction of illegal immigrants on this continent. Wall sold separately.